“He Said, She Said”; On Feng Shui’ing the House

We don’t have all the answers to life and its mysteries, so we thought we’d try having our house feng shui’d. Our friends had it done recently and told us of the great things that happened to them after they had it done at their home.

After we faxed the Feng Shui Lady a sketched layout of our home, she called to ask some questions about the direction everything was facing. So we made the appointment with her for December 30th, which we figured would give us a head start on starting the new year right. She told us that we  should notice “a positive shift in energy and removal of any blockages” after we were done. Here is our story:

“He Said” from the Cave, “She Said” from the Throne: 

He Said: “To say I was somewhat skeptical would be fair, but I like to keep an open mind.  I even bought a book about it once.  As my Pop used to say, he prayed every night just in case, so hey, maybe we should “feng shui” just in case.”

She Said: “We’re not multi-millionaires yet.” (jab-jab)

He Said: “Will walking around the house with burning sage and Tibetan bells will make us multi-millionaires?  The smoke made us smell like potheads…not a good start on the road to becoming multi-millionaires!”

She Said: “At least it made us SMELL like we were loaded! And some people really believe in that stuff, you know. She did say we’d notice a positive shift right away, didn’t she?”

He Said:  “If being in the doghouse for three days afterward is a positive shift.”

She Said: “The Feng Shui Lady didn’t put you in the doghouse. You put yourself there.”

He Said:  “Bark, bark.  Can we get back to the subject at hand here?  Things DID shift (after exiting the doghouse).”

She Said: “The doghouse was part of the process.” (jab-jab)

The Feng Shui Lady came in and said we really didn’t have a lot of issues that needed to be remedied, just some small adjustments to recommend. We had several really good things happen as a result of the feng shui-ing. The antique rickshaw that had been outside in the courtyard for 5 years leading up to the front door was red, the wrong color, a FIRE color. So we put it in the garage to protect it from the elements.

After moving the fire colored antique rickshaw, we put in the front entryway a little birdbath with a frog on it that Greg’s daughter gave him years ago, a water element we were told we needed there.

Here we are, the 6th day of the year, and we have our finances in order and simplified, our business has been consistent over the last few days because of our renewed discipline, Greg realizes that he likes to sleep in a warm bed, I continue to rule from the throne and Greg continues to grunt from the cave —

He Said:  “There would be no throne dear, without the caveman protecting it.  My grunts seem to communicate a lot!”

She Said: “You’re interrupting my narration! And I do NOT live in a cave!”

More later…

3 thoughts on ““He Said, She Said”; On Feng Shui’ing the House”

  1. John W

    You two do generate positive energy, with or without the Feng Shui water elements..

  2. Patrick Barr

    I always wonder what a Feng Shui Lady would say about my large red 4×4 truck with Beethoven, Sanatana, and Sarah Brightman in the CD changer, not to mention two fat cats, deer heads, and Georgia O’keefe prints…

  3. Anna May

    Patrick, I’m not a designer but goodness, um, are you married?

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